A Thin Line

The world cup is over and it has definitely given two things to India, a strong cricket team to look up to and Anushka Sharma to blame. We went crazy and behaved like sore losers, not new for us but a little different this time. This year we had something more than grass, pitch, weather or the players to blame, in fact not just something, a whole 5 feet 9 inches living girl in flesh and blood. And we left no stone unturned to vent out our anger at all places we could, from social media to nukkad panwala. Not only males but females too bashed Anushka Sharma for God known reasons.

I am sad that we lost the cup in spite of the hard work the blue boys did, but I felt sadder when I happened to look at a photo of Anushka Sharma returning from Australia on social media. She seemed sad and pale but what pinched me the most, is that she was looking down as if she too thinks she is guilty. I have no clue what she could be guilty of, being in a relationship, or being in a relationship with a man who could not perform well in his profession, or being in a relationship with a man who could not perform well in his profession because she was present there and he got distracted or may be she was playing victim. For a man like Virat Kohli, with immense talent and caliber, it doesn't seems likely that he will get distracted.

Well, I seriously did not want to discuss the after thoughts of that photo in such details over here, but I could not help myself. See, this is what happens to you when you talk about blame games, you choose a side.

Coming back to my chain of thoughts, this incident is just a reflection of the status of women in our society, once again at our faces the crude truth of women empowerment. Another form of abuse, when you don't get what you want, you blame others. In any patriarchal society, man has too big of an ego that he not only does anything to fake his but also of the whole male community. The same happened this time, Mr. Kohli was the one who failed, who lost focus, so if at all anyone has to be blamed then it should be him, but alas, he came out much cleaner in comparison to Ms. Sharma.

There is a percentage of men and women, who are sick of this nonsense as any man with logic and any woman with self-respect would be. When this will fade away, something new will come up. After every few months a female bashing news is in the air and we learn nothing.

I don't know if the world would ever end female bashing. Or if the society will ever give women the status and respect we all dream. But I wanted to share with all females, girls or women, married, unmarried or divorced, single or dating, that if you have a boyfriend, friend, husband, lover or anyone who too blames Anushka Sharma, be aware, you never know when he will start blaming you for all/any of his failures. If he can blame someone else for someone else's failure without any logic, no wonder he may someday feel the same for you. Seems like a possibility to me and I may be completely wrong, but for sure I want you to think about it.

How your man treat other women is equally important as how he treats you because somewhere down the line his real thoughts about women will reflect in his behavior for you. It is difficult to pretend for years. 

Most of the time in our relationships we don't understand the fine line between a fight and an insult, a disappointment and a blame. We justify to ourselves the behavior of our loved ones even before they justify it. How we react to failures and disappointments reflects our true self. We tend to say all sort of things when we are angry and then may apologize but the fact is that we vent out our true feelings when we are angry. Anger doesn't let us sugarcoat our words. What we think for one, we can think same for others too. I don't want you to be over sensitive about every word your partner says, but yes you should watch out for repetitions. It's a real thin line so setting boundaries will help and expressing those boundaries will help more.

Respect is the most important aspect of any relationship. Especially in love and marriage, where two people are with each other because of their feelings. May be your man is the best you think, talks politely to all, respects women and seems nice, but never let him cross the line of your self-respect at any cost. Don't think that you are loving or respecting your partner by allowing him to disrespect you.

If you are not sure about his take on women empowerment or you wish to confirm it, this small episode can give you a fair insight of what he actually thinks about women, equality and the blame game. On a lighter side, it can be the best question you can ask on your first date or first time you meet a person for marriage.